KidCash should never be used to make children feel powerless and small. Try to communicate the rules and violations in a way that is supporting, even if you have to be stern.
Avoid making decisions when emotional. For example, don’t take away dollars or toys they've earned out of anger. They've spent a lot of time building up this cash, and their trust is very delicate. If you randomly take it away out of anger, they will not trust the system you are telling them to participate in.
Create a schedule for allowance and try to stick with it as best as you can. It's fine if you can't, but try. Try to keep the rules the same despite how you're feeling in the moment. Remember, children are children, they will sometimes rebel, not listen, seem to be not bothered by tickets or whatever else you throw at them. It’s a natural part of growing up and learning how to communicate your boundaries. Consistency will translate your good intentions over time and will increase the trust your kids have in you and the structure you have built for them.
In any questionable situation, ask yourself how you would feel if somebody did it to you as an adult. What if your boss took back three months of pay for not doing what he told you to. What if he went to your house and just took your car and told you, well maybe now you'll learn to listen to him. It's easier to remember how they feel if you reframe it in terms of adults.
You want your children to follow the rules because they understand you want what’s best for them. You want to let them explore breaking the rules but understand that some actions have consequences. You want them to understand what’s expected so they can flourish. You want them to trust you and the system you are governing for your best chance of success.
This is a learning opportunity for parents as much as children and it’s meaningful to know that it’s okay if we don’t always do the right thing. The important thing is that we spend a little time to focus on our high level goals, identify the things that will help us succeed and try to do our best. We hope this helps steer you in a bright direction.
Happy Parenting!
Sometimes a simple reframing of the problem can help you focus. Children are people too and react similarly when confronted. For a parent, it's often difficult to take “child” out of the equation or to distance yourself properly to see other outside of the box. We hope this writing exercise can help you visualize other angles and find the solution that brings you productive results. Help other parents and share your success stories below.
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